Say it Again: Funny Lines From My Name Is Earl and Others

by Jason the TVaholic on February 11, 2006

in Say It Again, Top Lists

A few funny lines of dialogue the TVaholic heard during the week of February 5th, 2006 on TV. There was lots of funny stuff this week. Many funny shows and lines but these are the ones that stood out. Read on for a little laugh. Enjoy!

Dialogue of the Week

Show: My Name Is Earl (NBC)
Episode: The Professor
The Setup: Earl and Randy are trying to figure out whom a stolen laptop belongs to so they can return it.
Randy: It says we need a password. I’ll try carrot.
Earl: Why carrot?
Randy: Cause who would think of carrot?
Earl: You did.
Randy: You’re right. I’ll try carrot88. No. 89. Dammit! I can only think of things I can think of.

Other Funny Bits of Dialogue

Show: Scrubs (NBC)
Episode: Her Story II
The Setup: Carla is feeling old because of the new young and beautiful Latina nurse that has just started working at Sacred Heart. Carla is checking on a patient, Mrs. Wills.
Mrs. Wills: Sweetie you’re not old. You don’t have crow’s feet. Your bra size hasn’t gone from a 34B to a 40-long and you don’t have arthritis. Neither do I but that’s how it gets ya.

Show: Gilmore Girls (WB)
Episode: You’ve Been Gilmored
The Setup: Luke and Lorelai have been invited to dinner by her parents, Richard and Emily. Richard sells insurance and during the meal brings up the subject of whether Luke and Lorelai are properly covered for all their assets considering they are engaged and soon to be married. In so doing Richard and Emily start telling stories of people they have known who were destroyed because of falling for scams or not being properly covered. This is one of them.
Luke: I’ve known my guy for a while.
Richard: You’ve been to his office? Checked out his operation?
Luke: I just deal with him over the phone.
Richard: Aahhh.
Lorelai: What?!
Emily: Hubert Lansing.
Richard: Fell prey to a telephone scam running out of Estonia. Took his life with a track & field starters pistol.
Lorelai: On your mark. Get set. Die awkwardly.

Show: Love Monkey (CBS)
Episode: Confidence
The Setup: The guys are trying to be nice to Bran’s new boyfriend Scott who doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the group. Tom invites him to shoot hoops with them even though he is not much in to sports. At the end of the game a passer by shouts out Jake’s new catchphrase as a sports reporter, Wapow! The guys start talking about it.
Scott: I gotta say I didn’t figure you for a catchphrase guy.
Jake: Why not?
Scott: Most ex-ballplayers don’t feel they need’em.
Jake: I don’t need it.
Tom: Doesn’t need it.
Shooter: The man doesn’t need’em.
Jake: For the fun of saying Wapow!
Tom and Shooter: Wapow!
Tom: Wapow!
(They stand there awkwardly with a long silent pause just looking at each other.)
Scott: Ok then. I’ll see you guys later.
Shooter: All right Scotty.
Tom: The man is a conversational cul-de-sac.

What did you find funny last week? What was your favorite line? Leave yours in the comments.

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