Funny Quotes from Desperate Housewives, Veronica Mars, The Office, The O.C. & Others

by Jason the TVaholic on April 2, 2006

in Say It Again, Top Lists

Once again we had another good week for well-delivered lines and funny bits of dialogue. So, what funny TV quotes left us chuckling last week? Well, here is a listing of the funny quotes from the week of March 26th, 2006 that made the TVaholic laugh. Read on and enjoy!

Dialogue of the Week

Show: The Office (NBC)
Episode: Michael’s Birthday (Season 2)
The Setup: Kelly is talking to the camera about death after she heard about Kevin. He is waiting to hear from his doctor about whether or not he has skin cancer.
Kelly: I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died, that was the saddest funeral ever, (pauses) that and my sister’s.

Other Funny TV Show Quotes

Show: My Name Is Earl (NBC)
Episode: Boogeyman (Season 1)
The Setup: Earl once scared a little boy by hiding under his bed to escape detection while robbing his house. This made the boy afraid of the dark. Earl has him on his list and wants to make up for it. The boy wants Earl to be his slave for the day. Earl’s not too bright brother Randy comes by late that night to see how it is going. Earl goes on to explain that it is not that great.
Earl: No it isn’t fun Randy. I got shot with paint balls. Was used as a motorboat. Was forced to race his dog on all fours.
Randy: That’s not fair Earl, dogs are used to racing on all fours. Bet he won. Did he win?

Show: Desperate Housewives (ABC)
Episode: Could I Leave You? (Season 2)
The Setup: Carlos has just told Gaby that the beautiful woman that they had seen about adopting her baby doesn’t want to give her baby to them because they are Mexican.
Gaby: No, no, you don’t just toss people aside because of the color of their skin.
Carlos: We tossed those birth mothers aside because of their appearance.
Gaby: Well that’s different.
Carlos: Why?
Gaby: Because I’ve read the Constitution and it does not protect ugly people.

Show: The Simpsons (FOX)
Episode: Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife (Season 17)
The Setup: Marge has won a trip to Fox Studios for the whole family. They are getting a tour of the Fox lot when Lisa sees a sign on a studio door and wants more info.
Lisa: Mother Flippers, what’s this show about?
Show Producer: This is a reality program my dear, where we take wives from two very different families and they trade places for a month.
Lisa: I already saw that exact same show on another network.
Show Producer: Hah, here sweetie have a Fox sweatshirt. (Puts it on her)
Lisa: (Turns so you can see the logo on the back) This is an ABC sweatshirt.

Show: The O.C. (FOX)
Episode: The Secrets and Lies (Season 3)
The Setup: Marissa has been hanging around and more with Volchok. Summer has seen her with him and doesn’t like it. She lets Marissa know that she has seen them at the Bait Shop and on his motorcycle to which Marissa responds something like the following.
Marissa: Well aren’t you Veronica Mars. Way to solve this week’s mystery.

Show: Veronica Mars (UPN)
Episode: The Rapes of Graff (Season 2)
The Setup: Veronica’s dad has been helping Cliff the attorney try and find the woman that handcuffed him to a hotel room bed and stole his briefcase. They have found that she is an escort and want to talk to her about what she did with the briefcase. Veronica has just returned home early from visiting Hearst College and is talking with her father when there is a knock at the door and Veronica goes to answer it.
Escort: Is Keith here?
Veronica: Dad, your hookers here.
Keith: Escort honey, so, why don’t you go to your room and do your blog or whatever you kids do.

What were your favorite funny quotes from TV last week?

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