Funny Quotes from Lost, Scrubs, Two and a Half Men & More

One of the funniest things on TV last week wasn’t a line but a character’s name. On CSI they were investigating three deaths, which lead them to a bunch of rappers at a fashion convention. One of the rappers was named “Dollar.” He must be twice as good as 50 Cent. So on the funny TV quotes side of things what left us laughing last week? Well, here is a listing of some funny quotes from the week of April 9th, 2006 that got the TVaholic chuckling. Read on and enjoy!

Funny TV Show Quote of the Week

Show: Lost (ABC)
Episode: S.O.S. (Season 2)
The Setup: Bernard is trying to recruit people to create a big sign on the beach in an attempt to get rescued. He hopes a plane or a satellite will see it on the beach. He doesn’t understand why everybody has become so complacent about being on the island and just wants to do something. He goes to ask Eko and Charlie for their help. They refuse as they are building a church structure.
Bernard: I liked you better when you just hit people with your stick.

Other Funny TV Show Quotes

Show: Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Episode: Golly Moses, She’s a Muffin (Season 3)
The Setup: Alan doesn’t like the direction of the conversation at the kitchen table. So he changes the subject by talking to Jake about school.
Alan: OK, new dinner conversation. Ah, Jake how was school?
Jake: I don’t think this conversation will make you any happier dad.
Alan: What now?
Jake: We had a surprise test today.
Alan: And.
Jake: I was really surprised.

Show: That ‘70s Show (FOX)
Episode: Keep Yourself Alive (Season 8)
The Setup: Red leaves Randy, Donna, Fez, Hyde and Jackie at the side of the road to look for Kitty’s ring after Fez accidentally tosses it from the car. They go traipsing through the woods looking for it. They come to a small creek they need to get to the other side of. Randy helps Donna across. Hyde goes across.
Jackie: Wait, how, how am I supposed to get across?
Hyde: Come across like you always do…real bitchy.

Show: Scrubs (NBC)
Episode: My New Suit (Season 5)
The Setup: Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso are strolling through the halls of the hospital.
Dr. Cox: You know Bob-O, I find you less repugnant as of late. Dare I say I’m developing a begrudging indifference to you?
Dr. Kelso: Ah, Perry you’re so edgy and cantankerous. You’re like House without the limp.

Show: Veronica Mars (UPN)
Episode: I am God (Season 2)
The Setup: Veronica is trying to find out if Mr. Wu is the outing of all outings that one of the bus crash victims had touted before his death. She goes to talk to him.
Veronica: Peter was gearing up for what he called the ‘Outing of all outings.’ I was wondering if he was pulling his favorite teacher out of the closet?
Mr. Wu: Hhh, Veronica I think when you get out in the world a little more, you’ll, you’ll discover that not all well dressed, articulate, detail oriented men are gay. Many of them are just…Asian.

Show: The Loop (FOX):
Episode: Rusty Trombone (Season 1)
The Setup: Sam has been trying to get close to Piper since she broke up with her longtime boyfriend again. He has secretly been in love with her since they first met in college. At the end of a long day he comes home to find out that she has gotten back together with him. Lizzy overhears the conversation and comes out to console him.
Sam: God, you were right. They got back together.
Lizzy: They always do. I’m sorry Sam.
Sam: Nah, that’s fine.
Lizzy: No, no it’s not fine. Look you’ve got to move on from Piper. It’s like when I was nine years old, I had this horse that I just really loved and one day it broke it’s leg and I had to shoot it in the head…

What were your favorite funny quotes from TV last week?

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Jason the TVaholic
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