Tonight the Idol wannabes go up against each other. House goes up against God. Denny shoots his therapist. Abby is being stalked, as is a classmate of Veronica. Luke is holding a birthday party for his daughter. The Unit is being trained to endure torture if captured. The thieves try to get on the plane. Emeril is cooking with friends. Chip is overhauling a Firebird for a Marine. J.D. tries to have lunch with Dr. Cox. Pepper feels the pressure of marriage from her parents. LeBron tries for two triple-doubles in a row. Sacramento tries to get a win without Ron. What will you be watching on TV tonight?

Prime Picks

American Idol (FOX): The six finalists sing classic loves songs tonight.

House (FOX): Tensions between Foreman and Cameron continue to escalate while they are on the case of a kid who says he speaks the word of god and can heal people.

Boston Legal (ABC): Denny shoots his doctor and Alan defends him in court. The partners decide whether or not it is time for Denny to go.

Solid Selections

NCIS (CBS): Abby is being stalked. The team tries to protect her while they locate the stalker.

Veronica Mars (UPN): Woody is trying to prevent a scandal while Gia comes to Veronica for help in finding her stalker.

CSI: Miami (CBS): Pretty good repeat episode where the crimes from a student film are happening for real.

Other Options

Gilmore Girls (WB): Logan has been seriously injured during his stunt with the Life and Death Brigade. Luke put on a birthday party at the diner for April. Will that finally lead Lorelai to tell Luke how she feels about being left out?

The Unit (CBS): The group goes into training and has to endure many types of torture and humiliation to complete the exercise.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC): Repeat where women who are using a speed-dating service are ending up dead, Dean Cain guest stars.

Cable Choices

Emeril Live (Food Network): Mario Batali, Alton Brown, Dave Lieberman and Tyler Florence all join Emeril in his kitchen.

Overhaulin’ (TLC): A 1968 Firebird is overhauled for a Marine.

Thief (FX): The team attempts to get on the plane. This is episode 5 of 6. Runs 65 minutes. Replays again right after.

Sports Notes

OLN has an NHL Playoff doubleheader. TNT has an NBA doubleheader with the Washington Wizards at the Cleveland Cavaliers in the first game followed by the Sacramento Kings at the San Antonio Spurs. NBA TV has the Indiana Pacers at the New Jersey Nets.

There weren’t as many funny lines that stood out last week, as there was the previous week. So what lines were funny last week? Well, here are the lines that got the TVaholic to laugh a bit the week of April 16th, 2006. Read on and enjoy!

Funny TV Show Line of the Week

Show: NCIS (CBS)
Episode: Untouchable (Season 3)
The Setup: Ziva and Tony have gone to the house of a woman who didn’t show up for questioning. They arrive at her house bickering about what they are doing and what they would rather be doing. Nobody answers so they head around back. As they reach the back door a cat runs out the pet door and Tony reaches for his gun.
Ziva: (Laughs) Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little pussy…cat, Tony?

Other Funny TV Show Lines

Show: Pepper Dennis (WB)
Episode: Frat Boys May Lose Their Manhood – Film at Eleven (Season 1)
The Setup: Pepper’s sister Cathy is the new receptionist at the news station. She has told a bunch of people who called in with stories that she would help them get on the air. They are standing around the lobby clogging things up.
Cathy: Mr. Bell, please! I promised these people we’d cover their stories.
Mr. Bell: Promises are like babies, little Dennis, easy to make, hard to deliver. Now get these lemons out of my lobby.

Show: Gilmore Girls (FOX)
Episode: I Get a Sidekick Out of You (Season 6)
The Setup: Paris was assigned to write a story on professor tenure. She started out writing that tenure was a good idea but then after thinking about it she thought it wasn’t a good idea. She wrote a story for and one against. She wants Rory to print both of them as a point-counterpoint. Rory tells her there is only room for one and she needs to choose. As Rory leaves she tells Jill to approve Paris’ story when she decides.
Paris: I can’t pick a side. Either way I look at it I’m right.

What were your favorite funny lines from TV last week?

The TV season is really starting to wind down. Most of the ads tout only four more episodes this season or three more episodes until the season finally or only three episodes left until goodbye. The last one being for 7th Heaven but I read that it might actually come back next season. I would really rather see a show like Everwood get a shot at the new The CW lineup instead of trying to drag another year out of this show. Let it go. Will you be sad to see it go? What will you be watching on TV tonight?

Prime Picks

Prison Break (FOX): Lincoln is on the run after his prison van transport was hit trying not to get shot by the guy who shot his ex-wife and framed his son who he was on his way to see. Michael realizes that Sara hold the key to his new escape plan.

24 (FOX): Things have gone pretty bad but Jack comes across some more information with devastating consequences.

CSI: Miami (CBS): A kidnapped woman dials the wrong number and pleads for help. The team must figure out whom she was trying to call in order to find her.

Solid Selections

The King of Queens (CBS): Repeat where Doug gets stalked after a performance at a karaoke club.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS): The gang goes to an awards banquet that is honoring Robin and Barney fixes Ted up with a hot date for the night.

Two and a Half Men (CBS): Charlie is seeing Kandi’s mother while Alan is trying to win back Kandi while Kandi is setting Judith up with her father.
The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS): Christine throws an art and crafts party at her home for Richie’s birthday instead of bowing to the pressure to throw in a big fancy party.

What About Brian (ABC): Brian ends up helping Marjorie move in with Adam when they decide to move in together and Adam can’t help do to work.

Other Options

7th Heaven (WB): Only a few episodes left or are there. I read that this might be coming back for another season next year. Yet they are still advertising with the so many episodes till goodbye.

Everwood (WB): Bright and Hannah are fighting. Andy is arranging for a concert pianist to meet with Ephram. Ephram is thinking of transferring colleges.

Medium (NBC): Allison thinks that her friend may be behind some murders according to her dreams.

Cable Choices

Emeril Live (Food Network): Emeril goes a little nutty and cooks up a few nut-laden recipes.

Beautiful People (ABC Family): Karen is waiting to find out if she won the contest while Sophie tries coming to terms with Chris.

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel Channel): The customs and food of Sweden are explored.

Sports Notes

ESPN has Monday Night Baseball with the Florida Marlins facing off against the Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field. OLN has an NHL Hockey Playoff tripleheader. TNT has an NBA Playoff doubleheader with the Chicago Bulls at the Miami Heat followed by the Denver Nuggets at the Los Angeles Clippers.

Tonight ABC tries to get you caught up on Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy with Clip Shows. In an hour for each they will try and get you up to speed on each show. The final episodes of the season will be airing over the next few weeks. I guess this is as good away as any to stretch the number of weeks a show airs. It is better than a rerun any day for sure but if you have been watching these shows will you be watching tonight? You will have already seen everything. The next episode of Lost is also a catch up clip show on Wednesday. They did one of these for each earlier in the season and a couple times last season. ABC must have found that they work pretty well or they wouldn’t keep doing them. What will you be watching on TV tonight?

Prime Picks

The West Wing (NBC): The transition from the Bartlett administration to the Santos one continues. Rob Lowe returns.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC): Two sisters are killed by being wrapped in cocoons and the detectives investigate.

Crossing Jordan (NBC): A woman believed to be a miracle worker is murdered and her case is investigated. Macy helps Lily take a look at her career and relationship.

Solid Selections

The Simpsons (FOX): The family tells disaster stories after their plans turn into a disaster.
The War at Home (FOX): Dave and Vicki try to ditch the children when they realize they need a little break from parenting.

Desperate Housewives (ABC): Desperate Clip Show. Get caught up with the goings on of Wisteria Lane so you will be prepared for the last few episodes.

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC): Clip Show. If you have missed anything this season her is your chance to get caught up before the last few episodes.

Other Options

Charmed (WB): Only a few episodes left until the series finale.

Pepper Dennis (WB): Repeat of the episode from Tuesday night where Pepper has to see the station psychologist after an incident while doing a report.

No other third hour options tonight.

Cable Choices

The Next Food Network Star (Food Network): Repeat of last week’s episode with Paula Deen where the finalists shot their pilots. The other episode from last Sunday plays right before this one.

The Next Food Network Star (Food Network): The winner is announced after the final two cook a meal with Bobby Flay. Who do you think will win? Did you vote?

Thief (FX): Repeat of last Tuesday’s episode. It was very good. This is one of the best shows this season. It is well worth the time. Runs 62 minutes.

Sports Notes

Four more NBA Playoff Games today. The first game is on ABC with the Los Angeles Lakers going and playing the Phoenix Suns. A tripleheader follows on TNT. Before the basketball game ABC has Senior PGA golf with final round coverage of a Champions Tour event. NBC has an NHL Playoff game. CBS has final round coverage of the Shell Houston Open golf tournament. ESPN has Sunday Night Baseball with the Atlanta Braves at the Washington Nationals. OLN has a couple of NHL Playoff games.

TV Marathons

AMC continues running The Godfather movies all morning and into the night once again.