TV Comedy Quotes from Scrubs, Two and a Half Men, House & More

by Jason the TVaholic on May 29, 2006

in Say It Again, Top Lists

The TV season has come to an end. Even with less new shows to watch last week there was still a few good quotes to laugh about. Whether it was Alan’s wedding advice or a reference to things you might find in a purse. What funny quotes from last week got you chuckling? These funny quotes are from the week of May 21st, 2006. Read on and enjoy!

Quote of the Week

Show: Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Episode: That Pistol-Packin’ Hermaphrodite (Season 3)
The Setup: Charlie has asked Mia to marry him. Alan is giving him the wisdom he garnered from when he got married.
Alan: Hey, hey, don’t set the bar to high for the wedding night.
Charlie: What are you talking about?
Alan: It’s a long stressful day. You’ll be exhausted, full of banquet food and cheap champagne. Take my advice. Tell her you love her, give her a big kiss and try to fall asleep with your ass pointed toward an open window.

Other Funny Quotes

Show: The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS)
Episode: A Fair to Remember (Season 1)
The Setup: Christine had dropped her purse earlier and all the contents went everywhere. Later, it happens again as she rushes away. She asks her brother Matthew to pick up everything and bring it home to her.
Matthew: (Closes door as he enters) Uh, here. I got most of it but I couldn’t bring myself to pickup anything with strings or wings.

Show: House (FOX)
Episode: No Reason (Season 2)
The Setup: House is talking to the man that shot him. The man keeps bothering House about how he treats patients and wants to know why he did what he did?
Man: I don’t want to hear semantics.
House: You anti-semantic bastard!

What were your favorite funny quotes from last week?

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