Funny How I Met Your Mother Quotes & More Funny TV Lines

by Jason the TVaholic on October 29, 2006

in Say It Again, Top Lists

The TV season is in full swing and many a funny line has been delivered. Whether it was Barney on How I Met Your Mother, Dwight on The Office or Jack on 30 Rock. These funny quotes are from the week of Oct. 15th, 2006. Read on and enjoy!

Quote of the Week

Show: How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
Episode: World’s Greatest Couple (Season 2)
The Setup: Lily has had a problem with her new apartment and needs a place to stay. Her last choice and option is Barney. She begs him to stay.
Barney: Oooookay. You can stay here for two days.
Lily: (Gasps)
Barney: But I only have one rule. You can’t change anything.
Lily: Why would I change anything? This place is… (pauses while looking around with uneasiness) …perfect. Except for the fact that you don’t have a TV.
Barney: See that wall? (Grabs remote and turns on TV and they are bathed in light) Three hundred inch flat screen. They only sell them in Japan but I know a guy. They had to ship it over in a freakin’ tugboat like King Kong.

Other Funny Quotes

Show: 30 Rock (NBC)
Episode: The Aftermath (Season 1)
The Setup: Jack has decided to change the name of the show within a show to “TGS with Tracy Jordan” from “The Girlie Show” leaving Jenna, the star of the show, upset over the changes.
Liz: You need to tell Jenna that this whole thing was your idea and that I didn’t know anything about it. And that she should be mad at you, not me.
Jack: Oh! Sure, then we can sit around and braid each other’s hair until we get our periods at the same time.

Show: The Office (NBC)
Episode: Initiation (Season 3)
The Setup: It is Ryan’s first sales call. Dwight is taking him and wants to bond with him while training and initiating as a salesman. Dwight has him in a chair in his barn on his beet farm and is peppering him with questions.
Dwight: What is the greatest danger facing Dunder Miflin?
Ryan: Outsourcing and consolidation of competition.
Dwight: Wrong! Flashfloods! What is the true cause of Robert Miflin’s suicide?
Ryan: Depression.
Dwight: Wrong. He hated himself. What is the DHARMA Initiative?

Show: What About Brian (ABC)
Episode: What About the Wedding … (Season 2)
The Setup: It is a flashback to the first time that Adam and Brian met Marjorie. It is a New Year’s party and Adam has a date and Brian does not. They are discussing Adam’s date.
Adam: I mean it’s a complete disaster, Brian.
Brian: Why did you bring her, if she has such a big head?
Adam: That’s my whole point. I didn’t know she had a big head.
Brian: Adam, come on her head is huge. It’s the first thing you notice.
Adam: She was sitting down when I first met her. I thought she was tall. If she were taller her head would actually be in proportion.
Brian: That makes absolutely no sense.
Adam: That’s what I thought. You know, so I asked her out, then when she stood up, she was really short with this abnormally large head.
Brian: She’s Mr. Potato Head.
Adam: Yep, Mr. Potato Head. Thank god you’re here. This is the worst night ever. I hate New Year’s Eve. All this expectation, all this pressure to have fun. And same with Halloween, what’s fun about that? (Brian spots Marjorie in the crowd and then Adam sees her) Hey Jimmy. Wow, who is she?
Brian: I don’t know but I’m going to go talk to her.
Adam: Woh, woh, woh, what about me? You can’t leave me here with Mr. Potato Head.
Brian: Sure I can.
Adam: Do I have to kiss her?
Brian: It is New Year’s.
Adam: But she has really small lips.
Brian: You know maybe you could switch them out for the bigger ones like the real Mr. Potato Head.

What funny How I Met Your Mother quotes or funny lines from other shows have made you laugh this season?

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: