The TV season is in full swing and many a funny line has been delivered. Whether it was Barney on How I Met Your Mother, Dwight on The Office or Jack on 30 Rock. These funny quotes are from the week of Oct. 15th, 2006. Read on and enjoy!

Quote of the Week

Show: How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
Episode: World’s Greatest Couple (Season 2)
The Setup: Lily has had a problem with her new apartment and needs a place to stay. Her last choice and option is Barney. She begs him to stay.
Barney: Oooookay. You can stay here for two days.
Lily: (Gasps)
Barney: But I only have one rule. You can’t change anything.
Lily: Why would I change anything? This place is… (pauses while looking around with uneasiness) …perfect. Except for the fact that you don’t have a TV.
Barney: See that wall? (Grabs remote and turns on TV and they are bathed in light) Three hundred inch flat screen. They only sell them in Japan but I know a guy. They had to ship it over in a freakin’ tugboat like King Kong.

Other Funny Quotes

Show: 30 Rock (NBC)
Episode: The Aftermath (Season 1)
The Setup: Jack has decided to change the name of the show within a show to “TGS with Tracy Jordan” from “The Girlie Show” leaving Jenna, the star of the show, upset over the changes.
Liz: You need to tell Jenna that this whole thing was your idea and that I didn’t know anything about it. And that she should be mad at you, not me.
Jack: Oh! Sure, then we can sit around and braid each other’s hair until we get our periods at the same time.

Show: The Office (NBC)
Episode: Initiation (Season 3)
The Setup: It is Ryan’s first sales call. Dwight is taking him and wants to bond with him while training and initiating as a salesman. Dwight has him in a chair in his barn on his beet farm and is peppering him with questions.
Dwight: What is the greatest danger facing Dunder Miflin?
Ryan: Outsourcing and consolidation of competition.
Dwight: Wrong! Flashfloods! What is the true cause of Robert Miflin’s suicide?
Ryan: Depression.
Dwight: Wrong. He hated himself. What is the DHARMA Initiative?

Show: What About Brian (ABC)
Episode: What About the Wedding … (Season 2)
The Setup: It is a flashback to the first time that Adam and Brian met Marjorie. It is a New Year’s party and Adam has a date and Brian does not. They are discussing Adam’s date.
Adam: I mean it’s a complete disaster, Brian.
Brian: Why did you bring her, if she has such a big head?
Adam: That’s my whole point. I didn’t know she had a big head.
Brian: Adam, come on her head is huge. It’s the first thing you notice.
Adam: She was sitting down when I first met her. I thought she was tall. If she were taller her head would actually be in proportion.
Brian: That makes absolutely no sense.
Adam: That’s what I thought. You know, so I asked her out, then when she stood up, she was really short with this abnormally large head.
Brian: She’s Mr. Potato Head.
Adam: Yep, Mr. Potato Head. Thank god you’re here. This is the worst night ever. I hate New Year’s Eve. All this expectation, all this pressure to have fun. And same with Halloween, what’s fun about that? (Brian spots Marjorie in the crowd and then Adam sees her) Hey Jimmy. Wow, who is she?
Brian: I don’t know but I’m going to go talk to her.
Adam: Woh, woh, woh, what about me? You can’t leave me here with Mr. Potato Head.
Brian: Sure I can.
Adam: Do I have to kiss her?
Brian: It is New Year’s.
Adam: But she has really small lips.
Brian: You know maybe you could switch them out for the bigger ones like the real Mr. Potato Head.

What funny How I Met Your Mother quotes or funny lines from other shows have made you laugh this season?

Today you will find a few TV show marathons on tap, the most notable being day two of The Munsters marathon on TV Land. When they do a marathon, they really do a marathon. FOX uses its sister cable network, TV Guide Channel, to show the first four episode of Standoff to get you ready for new episodes beginning this Tuesday before a new episode of House. Speaking of House, USA has a House marathon today as well. Do you like TV show marathons? What is the longest you have ever sat and watched one?

Prime Picks

7th Heaven (The CW): New. The Camden house might be taking in some more strays so they can have enough characters to have stories about. Will you care?

Desperate Housewives (ABC): New. Bree has to confront Orson’s past while it looks like Susan will get back with Ian while Carlos and Gaby might give it another shot. Runs 61 minutes.

Brothers & Sisters (ABC): New. The family’s dirty laundry gets aired out in public.

Solid Selections

The Amazing Race 10 (CBS): New. Tempers flare, alliances come through and cars break down all on the next amazing episode.

Cold Case (CBS): New. A radio DJ from 1958 was thought to have committed suicide until a recording of his last broadcast is found. The team reopens the case.

Without a Trace (CBS): New. A man who was a survivor of Hurricane Katrina goes missing and the team tries to find him but encounters a few lies he has told along the way. This is the 100th episode of the show.

Cable Choices

Emeril Kick Up Halloween (Food Network): Repeat. Get some ideas for some scary good treats.

Iron Chef America (Food Network): New. Iron Chef Cat Cora faces off against Chef Elizabeth Falkner.

Dexter (Showtime): New. The last victim of the Ice Truck Killer was found alive. Will he be able to provide any clues to the mystery? Dexter meanwhile is after his own bad guy who deals in human trafficking.

Other Options

• Candy Castles (Food Network): New. Pastry chefs compete to make the best confectionary masterpiece.
• The Wire (HBO): New. The election is over.

Sports Notes

• ABC has the final round of the Chrysler Championship PGA Tour event.
• CBS has NFL Football games with the game of the day being the Indianapolis Colts at the Denver Broncos.
• ESPN has college football with Connecticut at Rutgers.
• FOX has NFL Football games including the game I will be watching in my area the Seattle Seahawks at the Kansas City Chiefs.
• NBC has Sunday Night Football with the Dallas Cowboys at the Carolina Panthers and earlier in the day has NASCAR Racing with the Bass Pro Shops MBNA 500.

TV Show Marathons

ABC Family has 12 episodes of Scariest Places.
Bravo has eight episodes of Law & Order: Criminal Intent.
Discovery Channel has 10 episodes of Dirty Jobs.
TV Guide Channel has a Standoff marathon with the first four episodes of the FOX show. New episodes start up again on Tuesday night now that baseball is done.
TV Land continues its two-day The Munsters marathon.
USA has 10 episodes of House including the two-part “Euphoria” episode.

Have you watched any of the Saturday Night Live shows this season? I haven’t. I have a couple recorded but just never seem to get to them. A friend told me that last week’s was terrible and I shouldn’t even bother. So far I haven’t. But this week the host is Hugh Laurie and I am curious as to what they will have for him. Will they spoof House? What do you think they will try to do with Hugh?

Prime Picks

Numb3rs (CBS): Repeat. The episode “Rampage” from earlier this season replays where a gunman opens fire in the FBI offices and Charlie gets a little freaked out by it.

Kidnapped (NBC): New. Knapp and the FBI carefully investigate the ruins of the building that blew up in the last episode and the bad guy got away.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC): Repeat. The second episode from this season, “Clock,” replays where Stabler meets his new partner.

Solid Selections

Dateline NBC (NBC): New. More predators are caught.

CSI: NY (CBS): Repeat. Wealthy middle-aged man dies in his elevator and the only witness got away and the team investigates.

48 Hours Mystery (CBS): New. Scientology is looked at in regards to their thoughts on mental illness and treatments for it.

Cable Choices

Emeril Live (Food Network): Repeat. Emeril whips up some Halloween treats.

Candy Convention (Food Network): New. See all kinds of new candies about to hit the market.

Trading Spaces (TLC): New. Two Jersey homes are upgraded in this themed episode.

Other Options

• World Poker Tour (Travel Channel): New. The 2006 Ladies Night is shown. Runs two hours.

Sports Notes

• ABC has a college football game.
• CBS has Notre Dame and Navy followed by Florida and Georgia in college football action.
• ESPN has Northwestern at Michigan early and later has Tennessee at South Carolina college football games.
• ESPN2 has Illinois at Wisconsin early and later Florida State at Maryland in college football action.
• FOXSports has college football including the game I will be watching in my area, Arizona State at Washington.
• NBC has NASCAR Racing with the Sam’s Town 250.
• TBS has Texas at Texas Tech in college football play.
• USA has round three of the Chrysler Championship PGA Golf Tournament.

Late Night

• MADtv (FOX): Repeat where Xzibit performs and a spoof of Survivor is shown.
• Saturday Night Live (NBC): New. Hugh Laurie is the host with musical guest Beck.
• Talk Show with Spike Feresten (FOX): Repeat. Andy Richter is the guest.

TV Show Marathons

Showtime has a Dexter marathon where the show the first four episodes once again to get you caught up for the new episode on Sunday night.
TV Land starts off a two day The Munsters marathon today. Now that is a TV show marathon.

Vanished was set to makes its Friday night debut this week but will be postponed if the weather holds up and they play Game 5 of the 2006 World Series tonight. You will find however a repeat of Monday’s episode of Heroes, “Hiro’s,” on tonight before a new Doctor Who on Sci Fi.

Prime Picks

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown – 40th Anniversary (ABC): Repeat. See the classic cartoon where Linus waits in the pumpkin patch and then a bonus cartoon where Linus runs for president of the class.

Las Vegas (NBC): Season Premiere. Ed has been shot and Delinda has confronted her feelings for Danny while Sam heads for Hawaii. It is about time this is back on.

Numb3rs (CBS): New. The team is investigating a murder at a horse track and with Charlie’s help a new direction for the case is found.

Solid Selections

1 vs. 100 (NBC): New. Watch as more people try to beat the mob and win the money.

Men in Trees (ABC): New. Marin and Annie are in search of a salon while Buzz and Patrick’s relationship takes a turn after Celia delivers some information to them.

Law & Order (NBC): New. The head of a company that makes body armor gets gunned down on his way to his daughter’s sweet 16 party and the detectives investigate.

Cable Choices

Doctor Who (Sci Fi): New. Rose learns that on a parallel Earth her father is still alive. Plays again later.

Battlestar Galactica (Sci Fi): New. A secret jury is formed to decide what to do with the Cylon collaborators without Adama knowing about it. Plays again right after and again later.

Paula’s Party (Food Network): Repeat. The southern diva of fried foods fixes up some fun fixins for friends.

Other Options

• What Not to Wear (TLC): New. A woman named Ginger hopes the duo of Clinton and Stacy can help her update her wardrobe so she can find that special someone.

Sports Notes

• ESPN has NBA preseason basketball action with the Dallas Mavericks at the San Antonio Spurs.
• ESPN2 has Texas-El Paso at Tulsa in college football action.
• FOX has Game 5 of the 2006 World Series tonight due to the rainout earlier this week.
• USA has round two of the Chrysler Championship PGA Golf event.