On cable tonight, A&E has the series premiere of Hoarders, BBC America has the seventh season premiere of Top Gear, ESPN has a preseason Monday Night Football game, HBO has a Fixer: The Taking of Ajmal Naqshbandi special, History has a Woodstock: Now & Then special, and Nickelodeon has the series premiere of Glenn Martin, DDS.
The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family): New. Ricky gets in the middle of Adrian and Amy’s continued fighting. Plays again later two times.
The Closer (TNT): New. The squad is trying to determine who the intended victim was after a spree shooting leaves two dead and another injured critically. Plays again Saturday morning and next Monday before the next new episode. Last week’s episode, “Smells Like Murder,” replays right before.
Weeds (Showtime): New. Nancy deals with the arrival of Esteban’s daughter. Celia is being plotted against. Plays again later.
Nurse Jackie (Showtime): New. A machine replaces Eddie and the parents come to claim the baby. Plays again later.
Good Eats (Food Network): Repeats. Alton talks about the “Apple of My Pie” and then gets “Switched on Baklava.” Both play again later.
Make It or Break It (ABC Family): New. Carter tells of his cheating. The girls end up looking for Kaylie on the night before they are to leave for nationals. Plays again late night tomorrow.
Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives (Food Network): New. Guy attempts to “Name That Cook.” A repeat episode follows. Both play again later.
Bravo has five episodes of Flipping Out.
Discovery Channel has six episodes of A Haunting.
Spike has nine hours of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation episodes.
Syfy has six episodes of All Souls early.
TLC has 12 episodes of Cake Boss.
Travel Channel has six episodes of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations tonight.
USA has four James Bond movies.