Show: Factory (Spike)
Episode: “Pilot” - Series Premiere (Season 1)
Premiere Date: Sunday, June 29th, 2008
Rating: 0.5 out of 4 Stars

Quick Synopsis: Four unfunny friends work in a factory.

Long Synopsis: Four life long friends work factory jobs. They complain about work and their home life. When their boss dies in a factory accident they are all up for his job and go about trying to sabotage each other’s chances.

Review: Factory is another one of those mostly improvised comedies. But, calling this a comedy, improvised or otherwise, is being generous.

The episode opens with the boss getting sucked into a machine by his tie and dying. Then the situation supplies the basis for much of the humor that is attempted later on.

I gave it half a star for one scene. While the situation isn’t funny, the erasing of “499″ and replacing it with a “1″ on the safe workdays whiteboard made me smile. But, only because I work at UPS and there are multiple boards like this around my worksite, like one regarding accidents in one center that never stayed in double digits for more than a couple days before being reset to zero for quite some time.

Maybe they will improve in future episodes, but as of now, this Factory could use some retooling or it will quickly be shutdown.

Factory premieres tonight, Sunday, June 29th on Spike with the “Pilot” episode playing twice and again later. It then plays another eight times throughout the week and again after next week’s new episode. It is also available as a free download at iTunes and Amazon Unbox .

Show: Secret Diary of a Call Girl (Showtime)
Episode: “Episode 1″ - Series Premiere (Season 1)
Premiere Date: Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
Rating: 2.5 out of 4 Stars

Quick Synopsis: “The first thing you should know about me is that I’m a whore.”

Long Synopsis: Belle takes you through the basics of being a high class London call girl. Nobody in her personal life knows what she does for a living, even though she enjoys it quite a lot. They all think she is a nighttime legal secretary. She explains the rules of keeping her personal, Hannah, and professional, Belle, lives separate.

Review: Secret Diary of a Call girl is based on the book The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl by Belle De Jour, which itself was based on a real life person and the blog/diary she started keeping about her exploits. The series first aired in Britain and now makes its way to the U.S. via Showtime.

This first episode does a very good job of introducing you to Belle De Jour the call girl, played by Billie Piper (Doctor Who), but not so much her fake legal secretary side Hannah. You get a small seen that introduces her best friend Ben, played by Iddo Goldberg (Run Fatboy Run), who doesn’t know what she does for a living, but that is it really.

The part of the story with the most potential is showing how she balances the two personas and keeps them separate. So far, only one of the clients was all that interesting and that was because he actually wanted someone more like Hannah than Belle.

Even after episode two, when her family is introduced, it is still a small part of the episode. The two episodes together make for a better overall introduction to the dichotomy in which she lives. But, I hope they give more time to the none prostitute side of the story in future episodes, as I have only watched the first two of the eight episodes so far.

One of the most interesting facets of the show is how it comes of as graphic, but actually has very little nudity. That is an interesting dichotomy in and of itself, especially given the show’s main topic.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl premieres tonight, Monday, June 16th on Showtime after the fourth season premiere of Weeds.

Show: Farmer Wants a Wife (The CW)
Episode: “Goodbye City… Hello Country” - Series Premiere (Season 1)
Premiere Date: Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

Rating: 2 out of 4 Stars

Quick Synopsis: The Bachelor: Farmer Calling

Long Synopsis: Ten women vie for the affections of a farmer in rural Missouri. He is 29 and they range in age from 21 to 27. They all seem to be looking for a change from the type of guys they usually date. In this first episode they have a chicken cooping competition and go on a group hayride. One girl gets sent home at the end of the episode.

Review: Farmer Wants a Wife is The Bachelor meets The Simple Life, although none of these women are Paris Hilton, not that that is a bad thing. But, one of them does think she is God’s gift, which couldn’t be further from the truth, given the way she is portrayed. Anyway, if you think you might find watching women, in their Daisy Dukes and tight tops, running around chasing chickens entertaining, then this just might be the show for you.

It’s like the creators of Farmer were sitting around trying to come up with their next big show idea, while watching The Bachelor on ABC. Then one of them thought, “Hey, what if we did pretty much the same thing as this, but we put it on a farm.” Cause, it is pretty much the same thing, but set on a farm. That one aspect creates the main difference, the fish out of water, Simple Life, aspect of dropping a bunch of city girls in the middle of a small town in Missouri, on a farm.

After watching the first episode, thanks to the kind people at The CW, I can tell you that the similarities between The Bachelor and Farmer Wants a Wife include:

• The girls arrive in a big yellow school bus instead of a limo.
• They live in one big room in a small farmhouse instead of a mansion.
• They go on a group hayride instead of a group cocktail party, so the guy can get to know them a bit.
• One girl is picked for elimination, but there is no Rose Ceremony, instead the girls have to check under a chicken and the one without the egg is headed back to the city, at least in the first episode anyway.
• They are shuttled out of town in an old pickup truck instead of…well you get the picture.

The funniest thing about the episode, besides the Chicken Egg Ceremony, was all but one of the ladies showing up in their high heels.

The smartest thing about the episode is the reasoning the farmer gives for why he kept one of the ladies around.

The dumbest thing about the episode, besides most of the women being significantly younger than he is, was the small interview segments that introduced the ladies. Some of the things they say about why they are doing this or what they think could happen are just bizarre. Especially, since almost nobody ever actually finds real love or even a decently long relationship on these shows.

For the TVaholic, it looks like it will actually be the second best option in its Wednesday time period behind Criminal Minds on CBS, as I would rather watch Farmer than the America Idol Results Show on FOX, Deal or No Deal on NBC and Supernanny on ABC. But, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I will be watching it. What about you, do you think you will be watching, given the competition?

Farmer Wants a Wife debuts next Wednesday, April 30th after America’s Next Top Model on The CW. If you check it out, come back and tell us what you thought of the latest in reality dating?

Show: Ultimate Recipe Showdown (Food Network)
Episode: “Chicken” - Series Premiere (Season 1)
Premiere Date: Sunday, February 17th, 2008
Rating: 2 out of 4 Stars

Quick Synopsis: Best recipe wins.

Long Synopsis: There are three rounds. Up first, in the premiere, is fried chicken, then chicken soups & stews and lastly, whole roasted chicken. Three contestants have been selected for each round from thousands of entries. They prepare their recipes in front of an audience. When completed, a three-person panel of food professionals judges them, while the competitor watches some of their comments. A winner is selected for each category. Those three are put on stage at the end and the final scores are revealed. The contestant receiving the highest score wins $25000 and the chance to get their recipe put on the menu at T.G.I Friday’s restaurants.

Review: Ultimate Recipe Showdown is a combination of Food Network Challenge, Iron Chef America and The Next Food Network Star. It takes home cooks like Star, puts them in front of a Challenge like audience and has the finished product judged like on Iron Chef.

The TVaholic loves Food Network. Many a time, while working on content for this site, you will find the Food Network on my TV. I mean, what is better than food and TV? So, when a screener for their new food competition show arrived, I was looking forward to checking it out.

Guy Fieri (Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives) and Mark Summers (Unwrapped) are the hosts. They do their best, but have a hard time creating a lot of excitement over what is happening on screen. It isn’t their fault, as the format doesn’t really push the contestants like the three shows mentioned above. The drawing things out, ala Deal or No Deal, doesn’t really ratchet things up here either. For such a big prize, you would think the show would create more tension and hold your interest.

The judges are Katherine Alford (Director, Food Network Test Kitchen), Kerry Simon (chef and partner SIMON LA, Simon at Palms Place and CatHouse at the Luxor) and Russ Parsons (Food Columnist, The Los Angeles Times). They did a good job of judging. While the TVaholic wasn’t able to taste the food, the dish that looked and sounded the best in each category won. But, their choice for an overall winner would of probably finished third, while third place probably would have taken home top prize. But hey, they got to actually taste the food, so who knows?

Anyway, the first episode didn’t really get me too excited, but next week is burgers followed by comfort foods, cakes, pasta and finally cookies, so you never know. They all sound really good.

How about you, what did you think of Food Network’s new competition series, Ultimate Recipe Showdown?