The Quote of the Week last week was a funny Boston Legal quote from Denny Crane. Other funny lines were delivered this week as well. They include old friends reuniting on Veronica Mars, a studio tour aside, the wonderment of waffles and a conversation between uncle and nephew. These funny quotes were heard on TV during the week of Oct. 22nd, 2006. Read on and enjoy!
Quote of the Week
Show: Boston Legal (ABC)
Episode: The Verdict (Season 3)
The Setup: Alan and Denny are talking about the women they have been with recently. Denny has been worried about the onset of Alzheimerâ€™s. He calls it Mad Cow. He thinks that it may be affecting other things as well.
Alan: Denny did you?
Denny: Paul asked me to repair relations with her.
Alan: So you had them?
Denny: Cheap, chubby sex in a witness room.
Denny: Obviously I didnâ€™t satisfy her.
Alan: Denny have you lost your mind? (Denny looks away) What?
Alan: Denny weâ€™re flamingos. Something going on?
Denny: (Taps his head with remote) Mad Cow. It hasnâ€™t progressed in my brain but there are other symptoms. Be it blood pressure, it affects me.
Alan: It affects you how?
Denny: (Gets up and leans over desk) I think I have mad penis.
Other Funny Quotes
Show: Veronica Mars (The CW)
Episode: Charlie Donâ€™t Surf (Season 3)
The Setup: Guest star Laura San Giacomo, who used to star with Enrico Colantoni on Just Shoot Me, plays Harmony. She wants to hire Enricoâ€™s character Keith to find out if her husband is cheating on her. Her first scene is walking into Keithâ€™s office.
Harmony: Hi. Um, I donâ€™t have an appointment. Do you remember me, by any chance?
Show: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC)
Episode: The Wrap Party (Season 1)
The Setup: Tomâ€™s parents have come to visit him. He is giving them a tour of the studio.
Tom: It began as a burlesque theater, called The Addison. And later I will show you where Gypsy Rose Lee signed her name on the wall backstage.
Tomâ€™s Mom: What, the stripper?
Tom: The Stripper.
Tomâ€™s Mom: Tommy, tell me you donâ€™t go to those places.
Tom: I donâ€™t.
Tomâ€™s Mom: Because coming in here I saw this neighborhood.
Tom: I donâ€™t mom. I like looking at naked women as much as anybody. I just donâ€™t like it to be a crowd experience.
Tomâ€™s Mom: I donâ€™t like this talk.
Tom: I understand. Anywayâ€¦
Show: Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Episode: Apologies for the Frivolity (Season 4)
The Setup: Jake is giving his Uncle Charlie some advice about meeting the children of the woman he is dating.
Jake: All right but if theyâ€™re boys, just donâ€™t call them little dudes, okay.
Charlie: Why not?
Jake: Thereâ€™s this guy mom used to date and every time he would see me, heâ€™d call me little dude. He was an idiot.
Charlie: Okay, okay, thatâ€™s good stuff. What else you got?
Jake: No lame magic tricks, no head rubbing and please no high fives.
Charlie: Got it.
Jake: And donâ€™t ask, who wants ice cream? Everybody wants ice cream.
Charlie: I understand.
Jake: Even lactose intolerant kids want ice cream.
Charlie: Makes sense.
Jake: But whatever you do, donâ€™t try to pretend your not sleeping with their mom. Weâ€™re not stupid.
Charlie: So, if I do this stuff, her kids will like me.
Charlie: Why not?
Jake: Youâ€™re doing their mom.
Show: Heroes (NBC)
Episode: Hiroâ€™s (Season 1)
The Setup: Ando and Hiro got jumped after Hiro used his powers to stop time and cheat a guy at poker in Las Vegas. They are dumped out on the side of the road near a diner. The following is from the subtitles as they were speaking Japanese the whole time.
Hiro: Wowâ€¦ Good. Iâ€™m starving.
Ando: Iâ€™m not talking to you.
Hiro: (Walking into the diner): Do you think they have waffles?
Ando: I said Iâ€™m not talking to you. I canâ€™t believe I got beat up because of you. Iâ€™ve never gotten beaten up before.
Hiro: I got punched too.
Ando: Once. They kept kicking me! My jaw is clicking, did it used to click?
Hiro: Letâ€™s just eat then get the car back, okay?
Ando: This is all your fault, Hiro. All we had to do was stop time, and we would still have our money.
Hiro: My fault? We got beat up because you made us cheat at gambling. Using my powers for personal gain. Thatâ€™s the Dark Side.
Ando: Not being broke is the Dark Side?
Hiro: (Opening the menu) Oh, waffles!
What funny Boston Legal quotes or other funny lines made you laugh last week?